If you’re looking for a warm, playful way to deepen intimacy with your boyfriend—without crossing into anything too explicit—dirty this or that questions are perfect.

They’re quick, low-pressure, and surprisingly revealing.

And as a relationship expert who has coached hundreds of couples, trust me: this simple game can open the door to better communication, sexier chemistry, and a lot of laughter.

How to Use These Questions

Keep the vibe light, respectful, and fun with a few simple guidelines:

Pick the right moment—cozy nights in, long car rides, or lazy Sunday mornings are gold.
Begin with flirty and playful questions before easing into deeper or spicier ones.
Keep consent front and center; you’re exploring together, not interrogating.
Watch your partner’s body language and mood; shift gears if he seems tense.
Treat this as a two-way exchange—answer the questions too.
If something feels sensitive, let humor or curiosity soften the edges.

Also Read;

Spicy Couple Questions Game

100+ Dirty Pick a Number Game Questions for Fun Nights

Dirty Pick a Number Game for Couples

40 Dirty This or That Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Below you’ll find four categories—Flirty, Steamy, Playful, and Deep—each with 10 questions designed to spark connection.

Flirty This or That Questions

Kisses on the neck or kisses on the lips?
This reveals what kind of affection makes him melt.
Follow-up: “When was the last time a kiss really stopped you in your tracks?”
Slow dancing in the kitchen or cuddling on the couch?
Helps you understand how he likes to romanticize the everyday.
Follow-up: “Which moment feels more intimate to you?”
Teasing texts or voice notes?
Shows the style of flirtation that grabs his attention.
Follow-up: “What’s the most memorable message you’ve gotten?”
Hand-holding or waist-grabbing?
Tells you the subtle touches that spark him.
Follow-up: “What touch instantly gets you smiling?”
Late-night talk or early-morning sweetness?
Reveals his natural rhythm for connection.
Follow-up: “When do you feel closest to me?”
Playful banter or soft compliments?
Helps you read the tone he responds to best.
Follow-up: “What’s a compliment that really hits you?”
Date night out or cozy night in?
Shows what kind of atmosphere feeds his romantic side.
Follow-up: “What’s your idea of a perfect low-pressure date?”
Holding your waist or holding your hand when walking?
Offers insight into how he shows affection in public.
Follow-up: “Do you like subtle PDA or almost none?”
Eye contact or playful touches?
Reveals which nonverbal cues draw him in.
Follow-up: “What’s something I do that immediately grabs your attention?”
Soft flirting or bold flirting?
Helps you match his preferred energy.
Follow-up: “What’s the boldest thing you’d love me to try?”

Steamy This or That Questions

Slow build-up or straight to passion?
Shows his pacing preferences without being explicit.
Follow-up: “What makes the anticipation better for you?”
Being teased or teasing you?
Reveals whether he enjoys giving or receiving playful tension.
Follow-up: “What’s your favorite kind of tease?”
Warm breath on your neck or hands on your back?
Helps pinpoint which sensations draw him in.
Follow-up: “What makes that moment unforgettable?”
Lights low or lights off?
Gives a sense of his comfort level and mood.
Follow-up: “What lighting makes you feel most confident?”
Soft touches or firm touches?
Helps you tailor your physical approach.
Follow-up: “What touch do you crave after a long day?”
Being close and quiet or close and playful?
Reveals the atmosphere he finds most intimate.
Follow-up: “What kind of mood makes you feel most connected?”
Taking the lead or letting you take the lead?
Offers insight into how he likes the dynamic to flow.
Follow-up: “Is there a moment where switching roles feels best?”
Slow teasing kisses or long lingering ones?
Shows his preferred style of sensual connection.
Follow-up: “What makes a kiss unforgettable to you?”
Warm skin or warm whispers?
Tells you what sensory cues get him in a romantic headspace.
Follow-up: “What whisper would make you grin instantly?”
Being pulled closer or doing the pulling?
Taps into his comfort with assertiveness or surrender.
Follow-up: “When do you feel the strongest urge to pull me in?”

Playful This or That Questions

Playful tickling or light wrestling?
Shows his comfort with physical humor and closeness.
Follow-up: “What instantly puts you in a silly mood?”
Truth or dare-style games or flirty card games?
Reveals how he likes to spark energy and fun.
Follow-up: “What kind of challenge excites you most?”
Goofy selfies or romantic selfies?
Gives insight into how he expresses affection publicly.
Follow-up: “Which photo of us is your favorite?”
Matching pajamas or nothing matching at all?
Signals how playful he likes things at home.
Follow-up: “What’s your dream cozy night vibe?”
Inside jokes or spontaneous adventures?
Shows what deepens your bond day to day.
Follow-up: “What’s an adventure you’d love us to try?”
Light teasing or dramatic humor?
Helps you read his comedic style.
Follow-up: “What’s something silly I do that you secretly love?”
Surprise notes or surprise touches?
Reveals which types of affection hit harder.
Follow-up: “What surprise would make your week?”
Playful dares or gentle challenges?
Shows how bold or cautious he enjoys being.
Follow-up: “What challenge would you dare me to give you?”
Dancing around the house or singing in the car?
Tells you where he feels most uninhibited.
Follow-up: “What song brings out your goofy side?”
Being chased or doing the chasing (playfully)?
Reveals how he likes to engage in flirtatious fun.
Follow-up: “What kind of playful chase sounds fun tonight?”

Deep This or That Questions

Emotional vulnerability or physical closeness first?
Reveals how he builds trust and intimacy.
Follow-up: “What makes you feel most safe opening up?”
Talking things out or showing affection during conflict?
Helps you understand his repair style.
Follow-up: “What’s one thing that instantly helps you calm down?”
Being reassured or being held?
Shows how he receives comfort best.
Follow-up: “When do you need that the most?”
Sharing fantasies or sharing insecurities?
Offers insight into how he prefers deep connection.
Follow-up: “What topic feels easier for you to open up about?”
Planning the future or savoring the present?
Helps you sync your rhythms.
Follow-up: “What future moment do you imagine most with me?”
Quiet intimacy or expressive intimacy?
Reveals what mode makes him feel loved.
Follow-up: “When do you feel most cherished?”
Trusting slowly or trusting quickly?
Gives context for his relationship history and pacing.
Follow-up: “What helped you trust me?”
Quality time or words of affirmation?
Helps highlight his love language tendencies.
Follow-up: “What affirmation would feel good to hear more often?”
Long talks or deeper silence together?
Shows his comfort with shared presence.
Follow-up: “What’s a moment of silence that meant a lot to you?”
Being emotionally pursued or doing the pursuing?
Reveals how he engages in deeper connection.
Follow-up: “What makes you feel wanted emotionally?”

Boundaries, Consent & Safe Words

Even playful intimacy deserves clarity and respect. Dirty this or that questions are fun, but they can brush up against sensitive territory.

If something feels uncomfortable—for either of you—pause without judgment.

Consider agreeing on a simple safe word or signal that means “let’s shift the vibe.”

Consent should feel easy, natural, and ongoing. And remember: emotional safety is just as important as physical comfort.

When handled with care, these conversations strengthen trust instead of straining it.

FAQ

1. Are these questions too forward for a newer relationship?
Not necessarily—start with the flirty and playful ones, and follow his cues.

2. What if my boyfriend gives short answers?
Ask the follow-up prompts; they gently invite deeper sharing.

3. Can these questions help us reconnect after a rough patch?
Yes, as long as the mood is calm and respectful. Use the deeper category first.

4. Is it okay if we skip questions that feel uncomfortable?
Absolutely. Skipping is part of healthy boundaries.

5. How often should we use intimacy games like this?
Whenever the energy feels right—weekly, monthly, or spontaneously.

Conclusion

Dirty this or that questions are a simple, playful doorway into deeper intimacy.

If you loved this list, join my newsletter for more relationship wisdom—and share this article with a friend who might want to spice up her connection too.

Love grows in the little conversations. Keep having them.